Week 34 Blabbers

Not knowing how to deal, deal with this depression that has seemed to have flown in so quietly on me. Depression I m not sure if that’s what I would call it, more like the pregnancy blues.
As for my life things couldn’t be better really, I have everything I have ever desired and needed. Yet still I have found myself up against a wall. Being pregnant is a wonderful experience, truly and most of the time its enjoyable. But here in the last month of pregnancy I have found myself cracking. I m so sick of being low key its disgusting.
Im a naturally active person, doing a lot all at once. Going here doing this and doing that. Planning trips and go go go going all the time.
Im hard to keep up with, I don’t like a slow pace or people that work at a slow pace, they are generally annoying to me and my flow,due to the fact that I m high energy.
So being pregnant I have only enough energy for eating ,taking care of my hygiene and maybe an hour or two of activity as long as I don’t have to stand up, my feet hurt and are swollen. I eat in bed most of the time, I read, daydream and doze off.
It gets depressing because it seems I cant finish a project right now, painting I have done a few I did about 14 painting early on in my pregnancy but now I m lucky to paint two or three. Painting takes up so much energy, maybe you wouldn’t think so if you don’t paint but emotionally it is truly draining and I don’t have energy to spare.
Now babies especially newborns have to eat every two hours throughout the day and night. So that means being up ever two hours to nurse, I have been peculiarly on a 2 to 4 hour cycle of sleep and being awake, I think my body is preparing for whats to come. I guess its annoying now because there is no baby here yet to take under my wing so I m just up for no reason and can go back to sleep, probably because I sleep 18 hours.