6am self loathing

(awake at 6am, nothing to do,hungry and cant eat...nothing sounds good.tired but not tired anough to sleep,still dont have enough energy to do much of anything,feeling moody,wondering what its like to be normal again ,normal thats funny i know! i guess what i meant to say is... to feel good again and to me a mommy)

I can barley see the light creeping up on the horizon.

In my jammies and they don’t fit very well, not right now anyways.

I m awake everyday at this time it seems and I m up for a few hours doing the same thing. Sitting here wondering why the hell I cant sleep!!!

O yes I know its my new transition. I guess its like I feel like for 8 months I have been saying “|I m pregnant” yes I am very pregnant but now I am so much closer to being a MOM. There are so many transitions and I feel like I m ready for them and sometimes just anxious and impatient and want to hold my baby! Done with being pregnant, cant walk very well, eating too much cant poop easily, very temperamental and moody, unpredictable and tired not to mention, achy, heartburn, nosebleeds, leg cramps foot cramps an dim sure a 100 other things to complain about. Give me a break its 6 am and I m self-loathing. Feels good for the moment and if the moment is all we’ve got than well I m doing ok.
I hear trains and a few birds outside my window. Our baby is very low it seems so much closer than I think or maybe I m having wishful thinking. Its not I don’t love or baby being inside of my womb I m just as ready as baby to be comfy and start our loves together.

I know im pregnant but I still feel fat (sigh)