January 7th to December 27

January 7th, 2006

you have the best father
ripewithbaby
Little bean, I would like to tell you today just how amazing your daddy is.
Recently the last few days I have been bombarded with tidal wave size emotions and flashbacks of times long since past and your daddy has been there every step of the way and every waking second. He is so good to us. I know you will have so much fun together, he loves to play like me!
Im actually really astounded how much your father actually cares and loves us. He does every thing he can for us. And I do all I can for us too.
You have the best father that there is little bean!
Its an every day up and down battle mostly with food. When I m hungry I have to eat or else I feel sick then I fall into code red and then its apathy time where I don’t care what I eat or about anything else at that rate. I have a sort of food problem. Its not really an eating disorder because it just developed since I got pregnant. Normally I don’t eat that much and Im not a big food person.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 02:40 am 1 comments

January 3rd, 2006
A mothers prayer
ripewithbaby




What a mother’s wishes and prays:
Little bean over all I wish for you love. Love in your heart find it there and love all you can. Love the world you live in love the world you create love yourself love your family love above all. Sometimes when you grow up you will make mistakes don’t hate yourself for your choices good or bad. I want you to find love and over come anything you encounter.
I wish for you, happiness. That you live a bright wonderful life. Making everyone’s life more enriched by your very presence.
I wish for you to be safe and live a long and healthy life with little or no health complications.
I wish for you to follow your heart. I know I can not shelter you from the path I choose before you were conceived and paths like that are appealing I don’t regret but I wish for you to find a easier way through.
My little bean I don’t want you to hurt or to desire things that enslave you to the desire themselves. I pray you will find your way through light and love.
Though when you do fall off the path I wish I could prevent this but it will happen I pray you will always find your way back to yourself. Intact.


I do know as a mother it can be so hard. You don’t want to be over protective towards your children you want them to be free to be themselves and be free to experience what ever that child needs to expand but in the same breath you don’t want to see your child hurt or be in pain. You wish you could make a safe little world around them keeping them safe and warm from all pain and negativity so there would never be a sad day for them. But that is not how mortal life goes.
As im pregnant and now experiencing all kinds of emotions and feeling to certain things and experiences I feel bad time to time when I can not be the best emotional example when im upset I feel guilty I hope im not hurting our child. I dont want to be the one the blame to certain emotional conditional taking place right now in the womb.
I do try my best. i guees thats all a mother can do.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 11:16 am 1 comments

womb explorer
ripewithbaby
Little bean you make your way across the terrain of my womb and all its scenery that is probably very dark to see in there. You make your way across the right side of my womb then to the left side. You are quite the traveler already! That must be a hereditary thing.
Today my young one im sorry but it has been quite an emotional day for us. Its not normally so bad but somedays the volcano just erupts you know but it also feels much cleaner and better inside once all the old built of lava is now flowing below and not longer a part of us so to say.
Other than that we are ok hunh.
Day 2 of trying to stay on a better diet while pregnant(which is not easy) it seems I tend to tell myself its ok to eat whatever I want even though it may be really bad for me. Not really bad but not the best of choices of food.
Almost broke my diet yesterday but I did not!
Today ive very good. Ive had cheerios with natural cane sugar , fruit and a salad.
Plus you know a lot of apple juice.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 08:46 am 1 comments
January 1st, 2006
Happy New Year
ripewithbaby

2006

Happy New Year! There’s about 3 months left little bean and we will all meet face to face for the first time.Me and your daddy had a lovely new year. Its nice to be home. This is my first sober new year in about 10 years. Im proud of myself.
Drinking Sparking Grape Juice and Sparkling Apple Cider.
2006 shall be the best year yet.
There has been no better year 2005 it had its rough times and very dark times and yet it brought to me my souls true desires.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 01:05 pm 1 comments
December 31st, 2005

week 27
ripewithbaby
Little bean… you are growing so much! You are at a full 15 inches from toes to crown.
That’s really big! Well compared to the rest of your previous growth .i remember when I was measuring you when you were the size of a pea!
Anyways week 27 omg, so so close to the 30th week!
Next week you will start to turn for birth preparation. Wow. Time has passed so quickly!
You are nestled so cozy like in there , we can see you pushing and poking and moving around in there my belly pokes out and you can see when you push on the walls in there, its so amazing! I have been trying to keep laying on my left side the side you are supposed to sleep on but I tend to lay on my right side and even back! I know that’s a no no. I don’t mean to I wake up that way. You rest on all my internal organs and I wake up with the WORSE backpain possible and I mean the worse. Normally I would probably take a pain pill such a valium to kill the pain. But I m a good mama I would do nothing of the sort I wont even drink caffeine! Or be in the same room as a smoker. I feel like you don’t really have the choice right now to choose what you experience so its all up to me to do that for both of us to keep us healthy and happy and not put either of us especially you in harms way.
Ok so my diet has not been totally vegan or vegetarian I do indeed put the cause on my pregnancy craving chicken but less and less. I will soon be back to my normal diet.
Ok so I know im a food binger and being pregnant has screwed up my bad eating habits darn it! I fast and binge don’t eat an binge. Ok so I know thats not exactly good but that’s ok. Im eating regularly and trying to get used too it.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 07:01 am care to comment

December 29th, 2005
cloustroum
ripewithbaby
Ok ok I know your saying that I have already posted today I know but I thik this deserves its own post. You don’t get your milk in until about 2 days after you give birth but before that you get something called colustroum and its vitamin and nutrient rich food pure yummies. Wow this is so cool. Its kind of strage watching my nipples leak out this yellow white substance. Not to be gross but its rather awesome!
Posted by ripewithbaby at 12:32 pm 1 comments

dec 28 baby stuff
ripewithbaby
Baby stuff! Yea. Toady little bean me and your grandma went and picked out a lot of groovy stuff for you my little star your baby shower which is coming up very soon! O my how the time has really flew by us. The excitement is almost unbearable until we have you in our loving arms. So the nursery is almost complete we picked out a crib comforter set with moons and stars really cute ones not the typical ones either.
little one you are so precious..
Posted by ripewithbaby at 10:22 am care to comment


December 27th, 2005
dec 27
ripewithbaby

As things internally rapidly change I feel myself kind of caught up in between it all. Riding on a ship being tugged and torn by the waves at hand that will shortly pass. Today is a interesting day for being pregnant. Not so much up and down just emotional, but not in a bad way, emotions surfacing from the full spectrum of emotions and not just the moody ones. Little bean I fully respect what is taking place deep within me although sometimes I don’t understand exactly all of the details of this transformation its just as new to you as it is to me. You are 10 inches now and your eyes are open and you pack quite a punch these days. I love you. I love myself. After all the discomforts of pregnancy I love it none the less. I love your daddy so much he is so supportive in everyway imaginable and im thankful. i love you both with all my being.forever.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 04:27 pm care to comment


ripewithbaby
Little bean today i have been just sleepin and relaxing all day meanwhile...
you and i have been playing touch tag! you kick me HARD and maake my belly move and twitch visiable from the outside and i tap and poke you back and we just go back and forth. Azell Aslin you are fabulous! We love you so much! your daddy last night put this high powered flash light on my belly and you respond so quickly. its fun. i would love to have seen in my womb with lots of light.so thats such a gift!
my diet is changing again.
all i want is fruit and vegggies and thats about it o besids cookies lol
Posted by ripewithbaby at 06:09 am care to comment