November 10 to November 3rd

November 10th, 2005
mother and daughter resolved
ripewithbaby
You know for once ( sometimes I hate to get my hopes up) it seems me and my mother have grown tired of fighting and arguing over this very important matter.
Noting that we have both very dramatic differences between us finding a middle way, middle ground to tread comfortably. At least for the last few weeks.

Feeling more pregnant and obviously more motherly I find myself more conscious of this beautiful process of life that seems to be pouring forth from my belly.

I see myself coming from the phase of maiden moving into the mother aspect of the triple spiral. It is so beautiful.
To love, to care, to nurture for one who even yet I can not see with my external eyes but still the ever presence of love.

Hey don’t forget my personal non pregnancy blog is located at : http://scarlet.myblog.com/
Posted by ripewithbaby at 11:01 am care to comment

bridging between
ripewithbaby

Today I woke up around 9 am which is unheard of to this night owl body. I woke up early to paint the baby’s room adding hills and valleys plus a horizon of blue sky. I started the kitchen today a bright yellow I still have to find a complementary color to go with it.
I went to walgreens and I was picking out a new hair color because im bored with the one I have love the red I have but… time for some change. I was getting dizzy and finally had to fall to the floor today . I was at the bridges of consciousness of normality to something new and wonderfully different. everything slowly phased out getting blurry and soft the sound slow and non comprehendible and all there was , was black .
My mom helped me up to go to the walgreens back room to get out of the asile to rest for am moment while my husband came to pick me up today.
O yes pregnancy beautiful but sometimes scary. Passing out is enjoyable sometimes i guess because of the instant crossing over of realties but not when your in a store.
so i have to not do so much and slow down i keep forgetting that pregnancy is desgined to slow you down and take your time with life not taking on too much at a time something a aries finds strange, go go go, activity, action, life! to relax slow down take it easy. urg. i guees its a new change becusase normally im on a fire path blazing to my next adventure.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 05:05 am care to comment

November 9th, 2005
dreams
ripewithbaby

I took a nap today and yet I have been slightly worried about our baby. I just have not been feeling a lot of movement and I asked our child today for a dream because I have been honestly worried. I dreamed…
There I was in a home many ours or maybe grandparents much people about in other rooms me and baby new born setting there talking telepathically like normal adult speech but it seemed I was the only one that could her past the baby gaga sounds . it was a bright little girl with fire in her eyes and much love and soul in her heart. She said yes mom, I m happy.



We shall see if we have a girl , im excited ether way.
We are going to paint the nursery tonight bought another green for sponging and a blue for sky. How beautiful it shall be!
Posted by ripewithbaby at 09:01 am care to comment

November 8th, 2005
road lag
ripewithbaby
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Watch Video:
STRANGE LITTLE GIRL (Tori Amos)


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Yes we just arrived back home from a weekend atChicago dining and a bit of shopping and a family friends funeral showing. Anyways. We got to see many people seemingly to excited and surprised that we are so ripe ( 5 months) J



I really enjoyed getting out of this stuffy little town even for a week end to another stuffy mid west town. I really realized when you have traveled so much you notice so many different things about people in and from their area and so on.
You know theres really no place inAmerica I would like to move too. I have a home and a family here and I building my creative self and lifestyle. Which you can do anywhere, really. We talked with jonny sister much about childbirth and raising children. Which before these moments I have never really given clear thought too.
All the different aspects of raising a child and all the avenues that one can take. Knowing that spiritually shall be a root element of our Childs up bringing.
An environment lacking fear, interrogation negativity and wild astral nastys.

Posted by ripewithbaby at 09:05 am care to comment

strange encounters
ripewithbaby
I caught myself in the side mirror of my vehicle, a glimpse of my inner child. Her face so soft and slightly round lips of colored of fearless pink and green hazel eyes. Fearless yet scared of the trouble she knew that she would surly find trouble with a heart like hers. But I always was true to me heart.Wild. Free. Unrestricted. For a moment I felt us merge together into the now. Catching up to where I have been.
I was always a strange little girl, never seemed to fit in to anything that seemed to be going on outside of me. Let me paint and smell those daisy’s. I have time for friends later. Pure and untainted fairies danced flower to flower I closed my eyes to find myself with the understanding of timeless knowledge playing in the woods. Turn my head to see the sun setting always time to go home just when everything begins.


I had my raggedy ann red suitcase, my Mickey mouse alarm clock my favorite stuffed animal a little dog named spot his eye was damaged and his ear had been sewn back on. some clothes and a book. I was 7. I was running away. I was found leaving the front door , my parents left me with no more comfort than I had before I decided I was running away.I was sent to bed and tucked in. As I recall I was just walking to my grandmothers about a mile, I knew I would find comfort there.

12 years old going on 13 . A stage of transformation and confusion just the same. I felt more detached from my parents and more distant. Pulling away and forcing myself down my own path .i remember when everything seemed to be as a dream, not the perfect dream but good enough to feel dreamy. My grandmother had been sick for quite some time, in fact years. I guess when you are young you don’t know what a disease or cancer is you always figure that they will find a cure or that they will recover. You think nothing will shatter your world.
As i watched my grandmother lay in the hospital bed for the 20th time it had seemed I was growing up a little more each time. hooked up to tubes and tanks I hated to watch every time she felt sick, because as did I the same. Her usual body size of a decent woman with a curvy figure and round waist had dwindled down to a Skelton , her face was no longer round and her skin, her skin was yellow. It frightened me. I just hoped and kept on praying that some how she would re gain her health. She never did. She died January.21.1995. it was a cold and bitter day. I remember the last time I saw her. Laying on her couch with people all around I didn’t even have a moment of quiet private time with her, she said with a weak and barely speak able tired voice ”don’t forget me, don’t forget about me, I love you.” That night she died.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 08:55 am care to comment

November 6th, 2005
baby love
ripewithbaby


Sometimes im just a unbelievably anti social creature.anti social by choice more so a hermit.i guess I can see how some people are anti social not by choice but by what ever they make lack on a communication level or maybe nerve. Not sure and it doesn’t seem to be relevant for this subject anyways.
More so now that im pregnant I love my space and im not talking about space away from jonny because we are one and the same so jonny doesn’t count as a outside part because we are one flesh but I mean pets and especially other humans not of my self.
More time to myself, even my pets seem to suffocate me time to time. Always following me begging for a pregnant woman’s food and barking(I hate noisy animals mind you) ruining my new carpets and just pain simply being nasty animals. I love them but I tend to thin more and more they belong most like cat and dogs out side. not in a nice carpeted environment clean environment. Its not like they can help it either I do realize this but its still irritating to me.



Today me and my parents went to a relatives 50th wedding anniversary. Everyone petting and admiring my pregnant belly and I enjoy hearing all the different ways to tell if it’s a boy or girl. like every thinks because the way im carrying it’s a girl I think it’s a girl because that’s my gut feeling buts its hard to really ask yourself that question because as a mother you just want a healthy baby. so much baby love
Anways I ate bunch of sweet and sour pickles today very yummyJ
So I have just been trying to keep up with myself.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 06:52 am 1 comments

November 5th, 2005
friday meltdown
ripewithbaby

Sometimes it gets so hard to pull it all together.
When you have like a thousand thoughts going all at once and they are worries and might and could be’s enough to drive you mad.
So afraid I will be a rotten mother and wont be able to show by example of the way a human should be because maybe im being lazy and not doing it myself. Its hard to evaluate yourself sometimes, because you are always bias.
Theres nothing I wouldn’t do for our child and I have so much love, I just don’t want to repeat the cycle and do what dint and still wont ever work with children.
So many concerns. So amny things to think about.
The tears just keep coming like a flood and the sadness is deep almost a despair. Its marrow settling.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 11:49 am care to comment
yea new vehicle
Today we got our new vehicle(a mistu of course) well my primary vehicle, since our child is on its way here in 21 weeks exactly half way through my pregnancy the main reason for purching a new vehicle. Its more than just a new vehicle it represents more than that.My car has always meant more than just a thing that gets me place to place I tend to form a relationship with it and turn it into a pet. Something I have respect and love for I know a intimate
object but I believe you inject a object with enrgeris and thoughts you can build your very own new creature.
im excited and thankful.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 12:12 am care to comment

November 3rd, 2005
almost 20 weeks
Im almost 20 weeks along and I do feel the baby kick sometimes it just feels like flutters and jonny loves to try and feel them too. I have been trying to get back to my normal diet of eating healthy . at night I have been wrestles as being pregnant will do to you, im constantly hungry and I eat like I have never eaten before.
I cant believe that im almost half way through my pregnancy! Its so beautiful and I really enjoy being pregnant it does(most the time) make me feel so very beautiful.

Ive been trying to eat yogurt everyday or every other day
Baby leaf spinach a bunch a day
Pasta is my new thing
Poppyseed and Italian dressing
Sweet pickles(just the juice is good to drink)
Peanut butter jelly mayo cheese sandwiches

Its officially hard to walk up the satris now I get out of breath and so tired at tehtop of the stairs. Bending over is now a task I must say, I move a lot slower and more pre planned steaps.leg cramps side pains shooting pains from hell and lovely constipation sometimes … I have been such better recently.
Ive been drinking a lot of fluids, I eat right before bed or else I cant sleep.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 11:45 am care to comment