August 23red to August 13th

August 23rd, 2005
childhood memories
Today I woke up around usual time 1 ish pm and had a great day hanging out with my husband until around 4 ish I felt so sick very ill .i met up with a business partner today and then I went grocery shopping . I got SO much food im so happy
I got all kinds of pomegranate juice green goodness and protein drinks to keep us healthy. Peas, onions, tomatoes because im going to make home made tomato soup. Green beans, watermelon, leeks, grape juice, beans (garbanzo and lentils) wild rice and all kinds of yummy food. To much to list im getting tired….
So then I went to my folks house and had my dad give me a motorcycle ride around town and we went to the place I grew up at. I saw my old neighbors and they were so happy to see me and to know that im married and going to be a mother now. I really enjoyed it. I felt like I was home in a weird way. I really miss that place im glad I got to spend some time there. I plan on buying a camcorder for us so we can go around to the places where we grew up and explain things on tape and then eventually get around to our home and show what everything looks like before the baby.
So I ate some mashed potatoes and corn and tomato sauce and a little pasta with my sauce I planned on making tomato soup tonight if I cant then I will tomorrow. I have just bee very busy today.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 10:01 am care to comment


August 20th, 2005
Nostalgic
I thought that because we are pregnant it would be a great time to look back into childhood what other than watching home movies???of when I was a tiny girl. And some sounds on these tapes that nothing can replace. The sound of my grandmothers voice. I have not heard in 10 years and I still miss the sound of her voice. Sometimes I wonder what it sounds like because I forget. But I can hear it and it makes me cry. I hope I can be a mother like she was. She is really a role model for me. I want to record our child’s first years or as long as we can.i think well I know I enjoy watching myself as a young child but more than anything to remember my grandmother and the virtues she taught me. She taught me not by shoving down my throat ways to be or what to do or by yelling she taught me by her living her life. I just followed.
Watching myself so little so uninhibited not even caring true reactions and emotions not filtered. Childhood memories sweet to my heart. I think its funny that I didn’t use the name Christina till I was like in 2ond grade on a regular basis even after that I referred myself to as nina. When I hear that word it brings me positive associations. To a person I was a very innocent time.
Little one our little bean your birth is also my birth as well. The rebirthing of childhood. My inner child is well I would like to think almost fully healed although healing is a on going lifetime process she is almost fully intact. With her pigtales and ribbons in her long brown hair smelling flowers and swinging on the tire swing.
Little one I really want you to know I will try with all that iam to raise you with out my impurities that have been passed on to me. Lost parents create lost children. Im guided by light and I know my way we shall walk this path all together and give you the option of what you choose to believe in when you are older. I will influence you with many cultures and spiritualities but none with strict condescending dogma. Loving positive earth and spirit based beliefs.
I miss my grandmother I often wonder what it would be like if she was still here with is in a body. Sometimes I get worked up and emotional about it. Yesterday I was at my parents house sitting on the chair and my dad suddenly stops and says I don’t know why or how maybe something you said you remind me of your grandmother. From what ive heard we were very similar. She was a fire sign too. Lol. I know that’s not to relevant but somewhat cool.
Im cooking veggie stew.yum asparagus,corn,potatoes,beans,tomatoes and ramdom stuff
Posted by ripewithbaby at 09:55 am 1 comments

August 19th, 2005

sleepy day
Today I slept till like 2pm then my husband was kind enough to cook for us we had yummy Tempe casserole and then he put together little beans crib and I was painting the nursery then I took a nap. I felt horribly sick after eating today and a bad case of turbulence with my mood swings. There is so much going on inside of me. I feel crazy sometimes all these hormones are outta control im not kidding.
Im sorry sometimes I cant help being crazy.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 08:16 am care to comment

August 18th, 2005
yummy day
Im sorry I didn’t write yesterday but I was very tired when it came time to write. Me and my husband had a fabulous day together and we went shopping how lovely. New shoes always makes everything better. We went looking at cribs but I know which one I m getting and I might get it soon ! yeaJ anyways. Then we went to my folks house and watched kung fu hustle it is really a good movie I enjoyed it because its so different and kind of unusual. I had another dream list night of me being see tough and I saw our baby but our child is more developed and looks much bigger from the last time I had a see through dream. So I really think that everything is ok.now I know these kind of dreams are prophetic so there is no need to worry.
Yesterday we ate a lot of food. Yummy veggie pasta thingys spinach pockets potatoes pasta stuffed with ricotta and bananas.
Today I feel rested and good.
today seemed like another extremely long day.
i picked out a celtic baby name book and found some names that i have allways loved . i was craving lobster so i had lobster with scallops and lobster pasta and then i had a sald bar at ruby tuesdays what didnt i eat today lol. i feel full and finally all my hungers quenched.screw microsoft word i recenlty got a lap top a new one and it came with microsoft demo demo can you beleive that its so retarded. you buy a computer it should come iwht software im very irritatedabout that. anyways. i bought a crib today not the one i really wannted it was 450$ and they had a nother crib that was decent. the one i really liked would have beenimpossiable to match with anyother woods at anyother store ans the Wardrobe was like 650$ yikes. so i bought the white crib, the Wardrobe and a changing table.so im happy that is taken care of i miss my husbund feircely today. sinice im pregnant i have a driving need to be clingy very clingy and i have to be close all the time. his seed growing in my fertile dark warm moist womb bursting with life. our dna stranned togeather making a whole new being.how beautiful.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 12:51 am care to comment


August 16th, 2005
extremely tired
Ihave it seems extremely busy today I slpet all day because im exhausted had a wonderful day with my husband and went to rustys we had a night of shopping fun I really only bought the essential for the house not for me because we all know I can get overboard with shoes and clothes but I curbed myself. I miss john but when don’t i? lol miss him all the time anytime. Im seriously in need of rest i feel like I could collapse. So goodnight.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 12:04 pm care to comment


August 15th, 2005
sunday off
i had a fun day.. i feel bad that christina is feeling ill after eating
i try to comfort her as best i can
sunday is my day off
today i watched a movie kung fu hustle
i enjoy stephen chow's movies very much
i played turok evolution and chapter 7 is really giving me so much trouble
i just can't take out all the sheilds without flying into the rocks and exploding
it is so difficult to get rocket ammo because it is up by this tower and you have to fly between some antenna with out crashing.. very hard to do and even the guide on the internet said this chapter totally blows
i agree
the video programmers of games sometimes lose the point and a lot of times in these days where you can do so much graphic wise
they forget the game is ment to be fun and not a task
that is why i like this rollercoaster game
you can build a coaster and ride it.. just like that
well i wish i could build the coaster higher thats all but still it is really cool
baby bean
i can't wait for your birthday
we have been talking about education today home vs. public
i don't know.. if possible i'd like to do home.. but then public wouldn't be so bad mabye if we are really participants in the educational process.. guiding and helping our children to success

active participation in the educational process as parents

i just want our children to be equipt to achive what ever it is they find in there heart they would like to do so long as it is good

i love christina.. my wife.. she is everything to me... all my desires as a man have been fufilled in her devotion to me
i love the family we our creating
i pray that all goes well with us
that the love we share can in our small part influence the world
if we live as though we are the ancestors of all future generations what could we give to them

i will to live in a way that is pure and holy
that is what family is to me
sacrade

i honor god within our union and commitment to eachother

hari krsna
hari krsna
krsna krsna
hari hari
hari rama
hari rama
rama rama
hari hari


Posted by ripewithbaby at 12:25 pm care to comment

random blabbers
I guess I could rant on about anything really if I just let myself go. Not sure what exactly I want to discuss today.there really are so many things I could discuss. Now that im pregnant I feel more in control of myself and my energies. Although I have bad unstable mood swings I just feel more in control.i guess I could touch base on feeling. I stive to be my best. The best at everything I do. And the most beautiful. Standing out above the rest in shocking radiance. And really the only way to do that is confidence and knowing that what we have been given already not placed by a plastic surgeon is so very beautiful and flawless even with flaws. I love how I see when I go to the mall and switch myself on observer mode. I see all the females dressed up for eachother not that it really even matters to them. Dressing to impress people that they don’t even know or to what? Im not sure. Im sure it doesn’t matter but that fact is that fashion should be a expression of self. To hell looking better than pain jane look better for you to feel better that’s the key. Is it not?
You know when I went to the powwow yesterday we went to this restaurant and this server was insisting that I was his ex girlfriend and its weird because guys always say that and that is kind of strange that I have to be the ex girlfriend. Is it what you call sassy or fiery . you know people on the most part don’t understand me. Like they think can help being who I m which I can not anymore than the next person. Im free. I m a free spirit and I say it like it is. I have sugar coating anything because there is no point the truth is beautiful even if tragic. I do do as I please I always have. As long as it hurts none. This is the point of life is it not. to do as you damn well please? So some people don’t understand that because they have always pushed themselves aside worrying about hurting other feelings or whatever. Just do it. Sometimes peoples feelings are needed to get hurt to show them what an ignorant ass they are being.
So when people say go you’re a bitch. Honestly you say bitch like that’s something bad. Why because I don’t tolerate bullshit? No that it maters anyways….

So what is it that we can go to these powwows and dress up like we did hundreds of years ago and hold on to a faint piece of our ancestry. Some kind of mockery. Now the naitves that have full dress on with the haed pieces back pieces and bells how beautiful. Then you have the whites that look like its Halloween a very sick Halloween making a mockery out of that too. God people.
But most of these people do they live lives that are of a good example or do they even care??? What our ancestors stood for our native mothers and fathers our wise shamans. To live in harmony with nature. Earth based religions following the sun and worshiping the moon. Staying attuned to our spiritual masters. Our ancestors that have long passed before us. So we come to powwows to try and re connect and show respect. But when I was there some of the people we really showing me how sad it has all become how disconnected we are from what matters. Eating nachos and wearing some stupid costume that’s supposed to resemble Indian wear with a Christian cross on it. Yikes people make me puke.
Why weren’t we eating peyote and chanting in the drumming circle? Something authentic. Wheres the peace pipe?
Anyways I have ate a veggie wrap and now im ill so till tomorrow chow.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 09:07 am care to comment

August 13th, 2005
chattery day
Woke up feeling chattery today. I overcame my laziness and actually turned on the computer to write briefly before me and my mother and my friend go to a Miami Indian powwow. Which is my mothers ancestors and blood so it is really cool we are going.
My pants are now tight . there is defiantly a baby in there .i slept really good last night. I love waking up next to my husband and finding myself in his safe embrace. Knowing that we can wake up together for the rest of our lives.
I love being married its so wonderful. I think its truly amazing that if you have faith and put all your heart in your souls true desire that yes in time your dreams will come true. All I ever really wanted was to find my twin flame. My other half not just some secondary that might due or love just anyone which I think we can do when we have no other choice because love is so free and can be given to anyone but the love from your twin flame is irreplaceable. None other not one single soul or thousand of souls or all the souls in the universe could replace a twin flame. thinking about soulmates this Saturday morning and how the love between the two empowers the soul that that share between them . not only empowering them but enriching the world itself. With love. which any world needs greatly … love.
The kind that lasts forever. What is forever. The infinite now. After death . traveling into the other side. From the other side together forever. Souls may travel and go to school but the fact remains that soulamtes are and will be together forever because as I understand it before the beginning of time the 2 were fused as one. Then split into polar opposites male and female . to learn and grow. Always seeking always hungering for their other half. The one who knows them the most thoroughly and completely because they are each other. Finding each other and everything is perfect. All the pieces fit. Nothing missing. All hungers quenched. All desires fulfilled.
Ok time to stop for now its time to leave. So until later. Chow.
Im back again to chat . I had a wonderfull day besides being extremely hungry and tired I have had a lovely day. Missing my husband wishing he was here in my arms. I cant wait till I see him. Feeling moody currently again… hungry and cranky and sleepy I need a nappy.
I haven’t ate that much today because I have been out all day
Water and potatoes and cookies
But I soon will eat something yummy I hope cause im bitchy because of it.
Posted by ripewithbaby at 11:16 pm care to comment


welcome to my day
Welcome to my day.
Very interesting start today a bit tense dealing with inadequate morons but as my day has progressed it has become much more enjoyable. I bought a few maternity clothes today because I feel my tummy growing and it looks bigger. Our little bean growing and swelling inside of me. Growing at amazing rates everyday a little bigger a little stronger. I feel our childs spirit more strongly now. As I know it will only grow stronger. I spent sometime with my beautiful husband while on his break today and it was very important time. So many things laid to rest. Old karma dead and ghosts banished for eternity
I have spent sometime at my parents today. I had to buy some ranch dressing because I really craved it we had a powerful storm here today it was wicked and beautiful in the same breath. I m really not going to touch on any of the negative things that happened today because its not worth the time I take to type out the words. I have been really conscious of our little one today. I bought a book called Pagan Parenting and it has some really rad attunement exercises in it.
Everyday I m a little more excited. I have been trying hard to stay happy and not stressed out. I don’t want to transmit any negative energies and out dated self dialogue. I believe that this pregnancy is and will yes still shift my entire consciousness and being. Being more loving, enlightened, awakened and compassionate towards all life . it is changing me already. I have no time to be lazy and I cant really let myself get upset because I don’t want our child to feel scared or fearful or anger. Because we will and are breaking the negative cords that have been passed down generation to generation. I have choose to give only the ones that I find are loving and nurturing o the development of our sprouting seed.
You are so tiny. I hope you feel safe nestled deep inside of me.
We love you .
I feel its so important to have a strong stable marriage for raising a child. For a healthy beautiful environment. Teaching by example what is greater than love?
True love. Between soulmates. Not just secondary soulmates but twin flames. Two humans that share the same soul that none other do except those two. This love is greater than any other the same love as from god (goddess) divine love. living evidence of true love. the kind that is forever .

today i ate:
pasta
green goodness
strwberry bananna smoothie
2 veggie burgers with miricle whip lettuce onions and ranch and cheese
eggplant strips
water
shortbread fudge cookies
soy milk

Currently feeling: cheerful
Posted by ripewithbaby at 10:33 am care to comment